I can still see him up there in front of the class pacing back and forth, the grey haired, wild eyed, aging psychology professor. His zest for Frued equalled Karl Marx’s love of communism. From him and in the next class Pyschology 102, I learned the basic “osises” and ailments which we apparently all suffer. For a twenty year old, jock type, psychology was not at the top of my list.
Years later, I did learn that feelings and thoughts repressed create problems for us. The more we try to not focus on or remember things which are “back there,” the more they change our focus. Also, I discovered that by acknowledging, accepting, and admitting our connection to the negative we can stop being a slave to it. While they may all seem like the same thing they are very different. First, I must acknowledge that I have a negative feeling or thought. Second, I must accept that as part of me. Third, we should examine how it makes us feel, write about it, and possibly discuss it with someone. That disarms the feeling or thought.
It has been written that a negative experience tied to intense emotion can be very damaging. That as humans, we wall it off, not wanting to experience it again, trying to shut it out of our world. The more we try to keep it in the background, the more energy it takes to function.
How we handle negative exeriences, feelings and thoughts define us as humans.
Enough of the complex stuff, let’s get basic.
Here is a simple test– Multiple Choice–
I do not like broccoli. At a dinner with friends, the host brings out my plate with a nice serving of broccoli. How do I react?
(A.) Jump from my chair, knock the host down, and pummel them senseless, screaming insanely all the while.
(B.) Begin a furious barrage of insults directed toward my host and their parentage for serving me the (bleep) broccoli.
(C.) Politely say during the meal, “The food is great, but I am not a broccoli fan, so I hope you are not offended.” Eat everything but the broccoli, enjoy the meal and friendship.
(D.) Pretend broccoli does not exist. Ignore the fact that it is on my plate. And when asked about broccoli by my host, change the subject.
(E.) Eat the entire serving, while becoming more and more angry that I am too weak to express my distaste for broccoli.
(F.) This is the stupidest question I have ever seen. You need admit you are retarded, and seek medical help. Why would you ask this?
How did you do? Think you know the answer. If it was (F.) you should contact your local policital party. There is a real future for you in politics.
While this little test is an obvious trick question it does point out a simple response for dealing with negative feelings or thoughts.
What if we were to apply the same question to racism? Just substitute a group, say “big nosed people.” In today’s politically correct world, Answer(C.) would be incorrect. We are not at liberty to say, “I dislike big nosed people.” Therefore, to cope we must exercise one of the other five. What if we dislike broccoli just a little? The whole discussion changes. Unlike Bush I, I like fresh steamed broccoli once in awhile. My major negative against broccoli is cost. It’s just too expensive. Add cheese, and “um, boy.” Or how about broccoli-cheese soup on a cold day with hot, fresh bread?
If we examine the “big nosed people” syndrome, how much do you dislike them? Just a wee bit? Sometimes when I think about? They annoy me alot? “Big nosed People” are a problem and it needs to be dealt with? When I see a “Big nosed Person,” I become enraged? Absurd? Yes, but it’s about degrees of negative, the opposite of my expressions about brocolli being better with cheese. There are varying emotions or feelings based on the vegetable, from exhileration to regurgitation. But there are no varying degrees of negative allowed in our politically correct society. One is a racist, regardless of intensity.
In a nation which prides itself on free speech, we do not allow people to express their feelings, and/or opinions on racial issues. By Monday, “Big Nosed People” may be off limits for discussion. Someone that has had a negative experience with “big nosed people” may have repressed that experience and now bears a grudge. Tomorrow, they must hide it and pretend as if it does not exist.
More toxic is the justification of the negative. Rather than to admit we do not like broccoli and move on, some try to justify dislike of broccoli. That in my opinion is the destructive nature of racism.
“Well, big nosed people, are so big nosed, you know. How can you not dislike them?”
A feeling, experience, or thought is just that. Understood, and dealt with properly it has very little energy. Repressed or justified it can become a monster which consumes a person. There is nothing more unsettling than “Righteous Justification.” But does the person have the right to express justification? In a land of free speech, yes, they do. From David Duke to Jeremiah Wright we see the spectrum of white and black racism extremes. While I believe both are destructive to this country, both have rights to express their opinion. One is classified as “hate speech,” the other as “from the historical experience.” Neither gain us any ground regardless of classification.
My wife, whose was born in Britain finds political correctness unusual. They do not have such a restraint in the U.K. Prejudice appears to be acceptable, but their history is far different to ours. As a nation, we have unsettled business from the 1860′s. Barack Obama is not the solution, he is the catalyst.
As Freud liked to say, we are all subject to our repressed childhood psycho-sexual desires.
“That will be $120. Please pay my secretary on the way out. And have a nice day.”
